You Cannot Change The Truth

We attended an "Adoption Preparation" class given by a social worker ,who specializes in international adoption, several months ago. The following piece was in our packet with information from the class. I like this piece a great deal and thought I would share it with you adoptive parents who may not have seen it yet.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE TRUTH

You cannot change the truth
These are your children
But they come from somewhere else
And they are the children of those places
And of those people as well

Help them to know about their past
And all about their present
Help them to know that they are from extended families
That they only have one parent or set of parents
But that they have more mothers and fathers
They have grandfathers, godfathers, birthfathers and fatherlands
They have family by birth and by adoption
They have family by choice and by chance

Childhood is short
They are our children to raise
They are our children to love
And then they are citizens of the world

What we do to them creates the world that we live in

Give them life
Give them their truth
Give them all that they came with
Give them all that they grow with

Your children do not belong to you
But, they belong with you
You cannot keep them from what is theirs
But, you can keep loving them

You do not own your children
But, they are your own.

Written by Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, with love to adoptive parents.
Dr. Pavao is Director of the Center for Family Connections in Cambridge, MA.